Spring is finally here and many people are excited about the new season. There is a feeling of renewal with blooming flowers and warmer temperatures. Along with this many people get inspired to spring clean their homes. People will scrub areas of their house that my not get done on a regular basis and throw away something that they don't need. Having a disability makes keeping the house cleaning difficult. I often start out with good intentions and get distracted. I also struggle to find items when I put them away, and forget about them!
I had to tidy how I viewed myself with a disability. In order to move into a new season I had to rid myself of unhelpful thoughts.
I had to scrub the labels that people had placed on me. Many people have labeled me as not smart, or unmotivated. None of these thoughts were helpful. I have a brain that is wired differently and needs a different way to learn. I also had to get rid of the idea that I was unmotivated to learn. Many people have thought if I wanted to learn math that I could. As hard as I try, math continues to give me a great deal of difficulty. I want to learn and wish at times there was an easier way to do that.
I had to dust away the idea that I was not good at anything. For many years I thought that I had no talent and could only focus on what I could not do. Luckily I discovered that I could read, write, and take pictures well. Focusing on what I can do empowers me!
I had to sweep away the idea that I could not accomplish my dreams. I thought that having my disability would stop my dreams of college, employment, or living the life that I wanted. I have not let my disability stand in the way of living the life I want. I have been able to achieve much more than I could ever imagine! At times it was frustrating and difficult but all I had to do was find a way. Many of plans did not turn out as I have originally expected, but thankfully so much better.
I had to organize my accommodations and supports. I had to evaluate what was working, and throw away the ones that no longer served me. I then had to list new ideas that I could try to help me.
Once I was able to renew my thoughts is when I began to see things change in my life. When I did the hard work of scrubbing the lies others spoke over me, I could see the truth about myself. Sweeping away the ideas that I could not achieve my goals, helped my future success. Dusting away the idea that I had no gifts, helped my strengths to shine. Organizing my accommodations helped me to evaluate my success. My house may not always be clean or neat, but I am learning to clear away the junk.